Baseball Quotes and Sayings

Some of the funniest baseball quotes.

I've come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen. ~Bob Lemon, 1981

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? ~Jim Bouton, 1988



Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living. ~Phil Linz


A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings. ~Earl Wilson


A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. ~Humphrey Bogart

Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer. ~Ted Williams


I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile. ~Tom Clark

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ~Dave Barry


People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. ~Rogers Hornsby



Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up. ~Bob Lemon

When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball." ~Willie Stargell, 1981


Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it. ~Rogers Hornsby



This is a game to be savored, not gulped. There's time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings. ~Bill Veeck
A baseball park is the one place where a man's wife doesn't mind his getting excited over somebody else's curves. ~Brendan Francis

It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays. ~Yogi Berra

Awards mean a lot, but they don't say it all. The people in baseball mean more to me than statistics.
~ Ernie Banks

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. ~George F. Will, Men at Work: The Craft of Baseball, 1990


I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it. ~Sandy Koufax


Hitting is timing. Pitching is upsetting timing. ~Warren Spahn
Why does everybody stand up and sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when they're already there?
~Larry Anderson

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.
~ George Bernard


Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become.
~ Mary McGrory


Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drivers.
~ Dan Jenkins


A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time. ~William C. Feather


Don't forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball.
~Woodie Held